What sparks joy

“Hot off the press, congratulations!” my Ph.D. supervisor wrote to me back in August. Our paper—which I had written during lockdown based on labwork completed before pandemic—had just been accepted for publication. “Great!” responded. And that was that. went cleaning apartment and waiting bread bake. My city's made celebrating with co-workers at pub trivia or group drinks impossible. The only person who going celebrate this accomplishment me—and didn't feel like celebrating. > “Publishing isolation … gave a chance reflect what truly find rewarding.” If you asked beginning of wanted do after graduating, would have said hide away fume hood research. If pandemic hadn't hit probably blithely remained track, carried along by momentum expectations myself future. cheers labmates colleagues when published paper spurred forward. But publishing isolation, no celebrations, rewarding. little sense personal professional accomplishment. realized don't satisfaction from act In words organization expert Marie Kondo, it doesn't “spark joy.” Where did leave me? I more than year left. prospect working something longer enjoyed, goal excited about, discouraging. “Get Ph.D.” turned out be less career plan single step toward unclear. knew trajectory ought be. getting emails about university-sponsored graduate student workshops every week years. Like most people knew, figured better ways use time. Now, feeling aimless uncertain future, thought give them try. When attended first (virtual) event November, discouraged see mostly first-year students were already thinking their plans how optimize grad school experiences accordingly. felt late party, somewhat regretful taken advantage these resources earlier. But told is never there still lots could learn. As part workshop we an Individual Development Plan (IDP), sort quiz helps rank your values priorities. last high school. It pursue marketing vending machine repair, so fairly skeptical in. When got results, surprised “teamwork” “help society” ended up as top essentials. found fulfilling over previous year, began make sense. I'll remember people—the other researchers met work with. painstakingly forth craft manuscript both happy For me, collaboration sparked joy. The IDP suggested careers public policy administration. leaving research scary. if major milestone wasn't needed look elsewhere. So, rather start new projects, I've begun write thesis earlier planned, aiming apply science fellowship fall. started previously associated business professionals: networking past collaborators professors. I wish global catastrophe way hope will rewarding path. Yet COVID-19 happened, expect full-steam ahead far too wrong Going forward, can routine regularly reflecting sparks joy—without crisis.